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the only thing i can do at the moment is try and run away in my head, as far as possible out of this claustrophobic breath-grappling place, which chokes me with incumbent violation and i need a place to break down. the mind and the soul: can the mind exist outside the soul? well not anywhere here in this place with dried air and fucking barren land twisted slangs and arrogant wimps. i want to go back to narrow lanes and cool bicycle mornings, zigzag streets and confusing trains which is not fucking connex.

anywhere but here. back to humid temperatures and hot sunny days in autumn, to modern technology and nil kangaroos, vending machines, cigarette smoke trains, american english, mobile savvy, everything else and more which here doesn’t exist. alice in wonderland, cheshire cat, mat hatter, ponyo, peter pan. whirly whirl and whirl.

a call for cause, not here, not anywhere here. I need to get out of this place.